To talk or not to?

Anna Anandita

Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent is a tradition in the societies of the Indian subcontinent, and continue to account for an overwhelming majority of marriages in the Indian subcontinent. The tradition lacks any official legal recognition or support, the institution has proved to be "surprisingly robust" in adapting to changed social circumstances and has defied predictions of decline as India modernized.
Since arranged marriages are so yes in the country, here are a few points that must be heeded. 
Girls, stop shying and ask. 
Even if love is the way for you.

  • Sex

Ask about it. Talk about it. After all, who doesn't want a happy sex life!!  Before you jump into he relationship, know what sex means to your partner. Understand how they understand it. It is your sexual health at stake. Demand to know their knowledge of safe sex, STDs.  You are a priority.

  • Menstruation

Yes, periods. Question your partners on periods. Do they feel it is a taboo? If yes, leave. Straight away get up and leave. It is a natural phenomena and should be seen as that only. No black polythene concept here.

  • Work

Talk about work. About the job you love or would love to do. You worked hard to achieve what you did. No one has the right to take that away from you. Even today there are people who pretend to have "no issues" if the girl continues her job post marriage even if reality is something else. What I would really like to know is who are they to have opinions on your job!!! You worked to achieve it. It is only your decision. Stop trying to get someone's permission for something you achieved.

  • Choices

Choices. That may be your lifestyle, outfits, hobbies, food habits or any. You are entitled to have your own choices and opinions. If it differs from your to be partner, then you are entitled to know how that would work out. Despite all assurances, you should make sure you won't be hindered. Yes,  there would be certain changes or compromise. But that doesn't mean to sacrifice your individuality.

  • Behaviour 

One must know how the behaviour of their partner gets affected by changes. Are they mature to deal with changes?  Or are they prone to anger issues? Because marriage needs maturity.

  • Why would I marry you? 

Question it. You are not a damsel in distress waiting for their so called Prince Charming to arrive and bring magic into your life!! You an individual with your own strength. You work hard and achieve success. What does the partner have to offer? Is it money?  Sex?  Or is it love,  understanding and loyalty?

  • Age old questions. 

Are you a virgin? 
Can you cook? 
Ask these. If these questions are necessary enough to be asked to a girl, so are they for a guy. 
If not anything, ask for the kick of it.

Question. Know. Decide. 
Never apologize for being you. 
“I’m tough, ambitious and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, Okay.” – Madonna